A Valuable Lifelong Friendship

When I was in the 3rd grade, the teachers gathered all the students into an assembly where we watched a short film about a young girl named Lisa Olson. Lisa was born without arms or legs and after attending a special school for children with disabilities, she was about to be mainstreamed into our class. The video, called "The Same Inside," showed us how Lisa got around in her wheelchair and how she did things using her small arm or her prosthetic arm. Diversity, equity and inclusion initiatives are not new, we just did not call it that. Instead, the video showed how we could be a friend and what we might do to make Lisa feel supported and welcomed.

Lisa became well known throughout our elementary school, especially because she was willing to give students speedy rides down the hallway on the back of her chair. It was not until two years later that I really got to know Lisa on a personal level. My mother, Judy, was hired by the school district as Lisa's one-on-one teacher's aide. She would attend every class with Lisa, getting out her books, taking notes, and tending to her personal care needs. Lisa and I started to have lunch together, study together and Lisa would sometimes stay at our house if her mom was traveling for work. Lisa was a representative for a children's charity based in NY and we often went to events together. I would help her style her hair and make-up. Even though my mom was an exceptional caregiver, she was low-maintenance herself and never very adept at applying make-up. The highlight was in 1990, when Lisa and I performed on a broadway stage, at the Wintergarden Theater, home of "Cats", with a musical rendition of "That's What Friends are For." I played the flute and Lisa, the omnichord.

When Lisa was in the 10th grade, she moved away with her mom. We kept in touch. Lisa went on to graduate high school and college, study abroad, and make her mark with a career in higher education. Lisa served in the field of admissions and career counseling at Regent University for ninteen years. She impacted the paths of countless gratuates until her position was eliminated in 2021.

In 2012, Lisa's mother, Marie Olson, passed away following a brave battle with Alzheimer's Disease. From the time Lisa was adopted from an orphanage in India in 1980, until her mother's illness made it impossible, in 2008, Marie was Lisa's sole caregiver. She met Lisa's every need with love and selflessness. Since that time, Lisa has had to employ caregivers to assist her with the daily tasks you and I take for granted. While Lisa has been blessed to have many wonderful caregivers throughout the years, her longing for the type of loving care that only a mother can provide, has left a great hole in Lisa's heart and in her emotional wellbeing. It has also left a substantial hole in Lisa's financial wellbeing.

Although Lisa maintained full-time employment throughout her adult life, her monthly income has never been sufficient to cover the full cost of hired caregivers. Until recently becoming unemployed, her base salary was $43,000 annually. Her current caregiving cost is $86,892 annually. The majority of her retirement and savings, accumulated while her mom was her caregiver, has been depleted to pay for the caregiving deficit left since her passing.

Between 2008 and 2021, Lisa's caregivers were paid, on average, $9 per hour for care through her eligibility with Virginia’s Department of Aging and Rehabilitative Services (DARS), despite the average caregiver wage in 2020 being $13 per hour (https://axiscare.com/rising-caregiver-wages/). Through the DARS program, Lisa was responsible for recruiting, hiring and training all her caregivers. The administration of these tasks alone, require Lisa to have hands-on assistance. Additionally, she would have to undergo an annual intake review at the DARS office to renew her eligibility. As though her disability would magically cease to exist! When necessary, during staff turnover or holiday coverage, Lisa would supplement her care through an agency, but the costs were higher, typically $20-$25 per hour.

Everyday, Lisa's caregivers prepare her meals and assist with personal hygiene. These two tasks alone allow her to live and to do so with dignity. Additionally, her caregivers grocery shop, set up her home office each day to job search or work on her ministry and to take care of London, the little dog that brings her joy and companionship.

As with many industries, the pandemic has had a significant impact on caregiving resources.

- Many caregivers left the healthcare field due to concerns for their own health & safety.

- Recruiting frontline caregivers is increasingly difficult as job candidates are seeking remote work, greater work/life balance and enhanced salary and employer benefits.

-As a result, the hourly cost for caregivers has increased exponentially. At this time, Lisa is unable to find qualified and caring staff for less than $16 per hour.

When possible, Lisa relies on volunteers or local friends to help minimize her costs. Our family has been blessed to welcome Lisa over the holidays for several years. Doing so eliminates caregiving expenses for her in the short-term and allows even the youngest members of our family to be of service to Lisa.

That said, consistent and accountable caregivers are vital to her ability to thrive day-to-day.

Because my life has been blessed by crossing paths with Lisa, I feel strongly that our friendship has created a way for me to be a more empathetic and impassioned person. By occasionally serving as Lisa's limbs, I am performing the work of two strong and capable women, but it never feels like enough. Financially and emotionally, I want to do more, but I can't do it alone.

In the next few weeks, I will be unveiling my first book. "Glory Be!" A children's fable, inspired by true life events, including my friendship with Lisa. The story serves to remind us that we are created perfectly, in the image of God, to fulfill a purpose in this life. A portion of every sale will be donated to Lisa to assist with the cost of her caregiving. Additionally, I'm working on a line of items that will share the message of the story on t-shirts, bags and more. Thank you in advance for your love and support of Lisa, through my brand, Weather the Storms LLC. Stay tuned here for more information on how to purchase your copy.

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful,

I know that full well.” -Psalm 139:14